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Grandparent Jokes

Diplomacy

My grandson spends summers in California with me. I had gained quite a bit of weight after taking some medication since he had last seen me. One day, he was complaining because he hadn’t had much exercise and had eaten a lot of ice cream. He said, “Oh, Grammy, my stomach hurt and it’s so big, I’m gonna be like you!” Then, in his best sincere Jerry Seinfeld-like moment, he said, “Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

Gourmet Lunch

Two little boys were visiting their grandfather, and he took them to arestaurant for lunch. They couldn’t make up their minds about what they wanted to eat. Finally the grandfather grinned at the server and said, “Just bring them bread and water.” One of the little boys looked up and quavered, “Can I have ketchup on it?”

memories

A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

Turning the Tables

I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these yourself.”


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  1. Margaret Kroon November 11th, 2012

    That reminds me of the time I asked my grandson why my hair was always pink in the pictures he drew of me and he replied “Nana they have your color in the crayon box!”

    Reply
    • FGP December 2nd, 2012

      Cute. thanks.

      Reply
  2. Franni Harkness May 27th, 2013

    During the holidays last year, My youngest Granddaughter and I would drive past the Nativity display in our town on the way to and from Pre -K. She wanted to know all about the baby sleeping in the manger and the figures surrounding the baby, Mary, Joseph and The Three Wise Men. During the remaining part of the year she would often refer to Baby Jesus. Last week while waiting for the school bus she asked, ” Grammie, remember when you used to drive me to Pre-K.?” “Yes, I remember.” I replied. ” and remember when we used to see Baby Jesus sleeping in the manger?” “Yes, I remember.” I answered. Then she asked me, “Well, how OLD is he now?”

    Reply
    • FGP June 5th, 2013

      Very cute, thanks

      Reply

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